Equal Opportunity Tooth Fairy

Why can’t the Tooth Fairy come for seniors? Why does she just come for kids? Older people lose teeth too.

The other day I got to wondering, is it really true she won’t come for us golden-agers? Maybe she would, if we put our fallen teeth under our pillows like we used to. But I know she wouldn’t come. And I know why. It’s because I AM the Tooth Fairy. Or I was, when my daughter was small.

Thirty years ago, when Michele was five and I was forty, she lost a tooth and when I tucked her in bed that night she told me she didn’t believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore. She said it was just another grownup lie.

But I snuck extra change under her pillow that night, three times the usual amount. In the morning she came tearing like wild horses into my bedroom screaming, “Mommy! Mommy! Look what the Tooth Fairy brought!!” I’d sure like to have faith like that again. The faith of a child. I’ve become cynical, not just about the Tooth Fairy but about everything from chances for world peace to the odds that the 49ers will ever win the Super Bowl again.

Millions of us seniors were reliable, generous Tooth Fairies when our kids were small and I wish our children would give back and be our Tooth Fairies. But I don’t think my daughter would go for that. She doesn’t have kids so she’s not on Tooth Fairy duty already, but she has a very busy life.

My husband, Frank, could do it. I’ve had three teeth pulled since I turned 60 and I’ve kept them all. I’m going to put them under my pillow one at a time and drop him very obvious hints about it. 

I take cash, credit and Amazon gift cards. 



6 thoughts on “Equal Opportunity Tooth Fairy

  1. LoL!
    I’m so glad I haven’t had to test my husband with tooth fairy duty. He’d probably do just fine, but I’d have to lose a tooth to test this and I’m not anxious to do that any time soon. So for me and my guy this will have to remain a mystery.


  2. I remember getting a dime for each tooth I lost as a child. This morning I had two tooth implants inserted for which I’ll have to pay something akin to a king’s ransom. I asked for the tooth fairy to help out, but didn’t receive an answer. We probably need a tooth bank, something like Social Security or Medicare. Just place your baby teeth in a special vault where it can be given a value and gain interest, then when one is older and begins to loose teeth, one could make a withdrawal.


    • Anne, a tooth bank is a brilliant idea! I like it. I’ve had an implant, I’m painfully aware of how expensive they are. What a switch, instead of getting change from T.F. we have to pay a big chunk of change to the dentist to get replacements. How life changes.


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